Tom- Character Creation

[flipper35376]

Character Name:Tom



Age:14



Gender: Male



Race:Human



Personality:Tom is a fuuny person and has some really bad insight on things happening. Even though creative, his plans don't always work out. Tom can stay focused but not for long. He can also get dark at times. Lots of people dislike him. He will try to sstay focus and work hard tword anything he puts his mind to.


Positive Traits: Creative, Hard-working. 



Negative Traits: Idiotic, no common sense, spaces off



Strengths: Creative, focused, determined



Weaknesses: PLans sometimes fall through. will get distracted, big procrastionatior


Appearance:Tom is a pretty big guy. about 5'10. He wears hoodies and sweat pants and shorts. Prefers flip flops over shoes. Medium length hair. and light peach skin.


Character Story: Atom got Tom into this whole cartastrophey.Now Tom is a reality shifter, now in the Bakugan reality. WHen he got here, he took a liking to Aqous bakugan, so he chose it to be his atribute. He especialy liked Aqous Preyas as his partner. Tom is working hard to do his best in this reality. HE wants to work hard and battle. Even though he may not be the best person for the job. He still wants to do his best with the task at hand.

Chosen Attribute: Aquos



Partner Bakugan: Aqous Preyas::500G





Effects: Attribute change, Ability card negation, G Power increase, G power decrease,Gate card negation, Make a Bakugan leave

[Creation]

Appreciative of you finally making one, but this is going to be denied. A Human Personality cannot be summed up in a few words. Additionally, you need to have an equal number of weaknesses and strengths. Finally, your appearance needs to be actually descriptive. What is 'normal'? Please fix these up and you'll be good to go.

Personality needs more information, with actual sentences.
Weaknesses need to equal strengths.
Appearance needs more detail.

[Grimm(Admin)]

Sorry Atom but I need to clarify something. 2 of the three things you said is still 100 percent. But "Weaknesses need to equal strengths." Sorry but no. Its PREFERRED that they match up in number at least. Buuuuuuuut. One can have more strength than weakness, or more weakness that strengths. But you need a least 3 for both. HOWEVER

I take a little issue with your back story and by little I mean a lot. So this is my suggestion.

    Personality needs more information, with actual sentences. (Straight up from Atom. I would say something similar.)

    Appearance needs more detail. (again from Atom, but) You need things like general height. Is your character fat or terribly skinny. Does he wear yellow or blue jeans. Average cloths means nothing by itself. Arguably this is where the most creativity comes in.
    Lastly: Disconnect your back story from Atom in the most part. Or at least mention at the bottom of your whole thing that you talked to Atom about the back story. As I read it now. Its not only the weakest thing on this character sheet but also the big reason I would deny this. If you truly want Atom in your back story still. Talk to him first and ask what is and isn't okay. Also its not a backstory. Its the beginning of one. I can even shorten it into one sentence. "It all started when my friend Atom introduced me to bakugan." Boom. See the the issue. The moment I can do that with a back story. There is a problem.

Sorry if I'm kind a harsh here. But I want to nip this issue in the butt. Nip nip nip nip nip nip. All in all. This is what you should take from this. Detail is nice. Having the right amount of it helps in character creation and in role play.

[flipper35376]

bump

[Creation]

Much better. Could still be improved, but approved.